[irrelig]Well, it’s finally up so now I can get some real sleep. In this episode, we cover 3 more Chick Tracts, all sent in by our audience since our Thai child passed on during our absence: “Oops,” a “tract for blacks,” “Fairy Tales,” about a poor little boy screwed up by his horrific upbringing, and “The Last Generation,” an accurate prognostication about the “near future” apocalypse as told by the Bible and interpreted by our intrepid scribe, Jack T. Chick.

Check it out here. Me, I’m off to bed and hope to wake up sometime next week.

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41 Responses to “57: More Chick Tracts”

  1. Angry Budgie says:

    And the peasants rejoiced!

  2. somewhere in greece says:

    Pronunciation tip: “αι” is pronounced as “e”, so hen you read the greek word “αίρεση”, if you just remove the “h” sound from “heresy” you practically have he greek pronunciation.

    …and I would very much like to know what Jack Chick is smoking cause I wouldn’t mind a try.

  3. J. N. Hudson says:

    “and I would very much like to know what Jack Chick is smoking”

    Joints rolled in bible pages, but filled with fanfic instead of weed.

  4. somewhere in greece says:

    Now you are describing the “Twilight” series

  5. Dietrich says:

    PAKHDI HAS RISEN!

    He shall return with His gift of Salted Tuna and the Blessed Promise of Toilet Water!

  6. Angry Budgie says:

    You Goofed! And Pakhdi is dead! Are you at least going to give the poor soul a burial?

  7. Queen of Hearts says:

    I just listened to the “Oops” commentary, and I read the strip too. I am Black, from Flatbush, Brooklyn, and I am really surprised this tract was written in 2008!

    1. The lingo was straight 70’s, and I didnt get how the suave dude oscillated between being from New Orleans, and then speaking normally.

    2. Where are these black people who do speed? Crack wouldv’e been more convincing!

    3. I have never known a black person named Bobby!

    4. What is the moral of this story anyway? at least give the devil/suave guy a nice car to make being bad look more enticing!

    Anyhow, I laughed really hard listening, I can’t wait to hear the rest!

    P.S., Thanks for making me an Apostle

  8. Random quote from my local Topix hate-fest-

    “simply because you wish to fart shouldn’t mean that everyone else has to smell it.”
    – On teaching christianity in school.

  9. Am I the only one upset that they threatened not to do irreligiosophy anymore? I hope it was an April Fools day joke but I think I might cry…

  10. Sorry.
    One more time.
    “I had an outhouse when I was young. One day I went down the path (you tended to keep the outhouse away from the living quarters) to the outhouse with my candle (dark in there). Just as I was opening the door I heard noise in there.

    I gently opened the door (sqeeeeeeak) and stuck my candle in slowly. I didn’t see anything. I put my candle in the hole and saw a Possum down there eating.

    You know why christians noses are turned up? So the maggots don’t crawl in. Did I say christians? I meant possums.”

  11. Chloe, I heard the no-more-irreligiosophy threat, too. I hope it was just a lame ass April Fool’s joke. If so, shame on Chuck and Leighton. If not, shame on Chuck and Leighton.

  12. Leighton says:

    Chloe and Sabina: Killing Pakhdi was the April Fool’s Joke. Guess that wasn’t as funny as we thought it was.

    We’re contemplating having auditions for our replacements. Hope that helps.

  13. Great podcast. Got me through my day at work.

    Poor Pakhdi. He will be missed.

  14. Leighton, unless you get David Cross and Bill Maher to personally take over Irreligiosophy, no that will not help. Now look, my roommate moved out so I’m down to $13.72 in my checking account, it’s yours if you keep doing this or you can have my undying love and devotion. Please?

  15. Herb (12th Apostile/Listener) says:

    If you take down your podcast, I’m converting to LDS, Scientology or making up my own religion based on a space-god.

  16. Angry Budgie says:

    I propose if they were to end Irreligiosophy, that we as a group create the Church of Latter Day Seventh Day Scientologist’s Witnesses a merger of Scientology, Seventh Day Advantism, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Mormonism. It’s so crazy its sure to become a hit!

  17. Get a grip folks. It came out of Leighton’s mouth. How many times does he have to say it? You can’t take him seriously. He’s a LARPer for christ’s sake!

  18. Seriously, if Bill Maher does this podcast, I will find you and tattoo something unspeakable on your foreheads. I hate that guy.

  19. Leighton says:

    Bringing up LARPing? The amount of disrespect in that is leading me towards quitting. With something like this do you have to put in two weeks notice?

  20. somewhere in greece says:

    Now now everyone, calm down, in Leighton’s defence, at least he was not LARPing as a “Twilight” vampire.

    And Leighton, the tip of your pinky should suffice.

  21. That’s right, Leighton was LARPing as a werewolf, so that would make him Team Jacob.

  22. somewhere in greece says:

    I know what Team Jacob is, because while you two were neglecting your fanbase I was catching up with Mark Read Twilight (So You Don’t Have To). The question is, how do you know.

  23. I either have a mad crush on Edward, or I have a 14 year old daughter. It’s definitely one of the two.

  24. somewhere in greece says:

    Either steer her towards Mark Reads Twilight (So You Don’t Have To) or make her read the entire series, up to and including what was leaked from “Midnight Sun”. If that doesn’t rehabilitate her, nothing will.

    Now excuse me, I have to call my mother and tell her how lucky she was that my favourite things to read when I was 14 were “The Sea Wolf” by Jack London and my dad’s old pulp fiction publications.

  25. Herb (12th Apostile/Listener) says:

    I was toiling [raking] in the field [my front yard] when the spirit descended upon me [I took a break for a gulp of the cold beer]. The spirit [again…the beer] woke my heart to this truth: Even Chuck and Leighton kill their creation, as the great phoenix, Ra and Jesus Christ before it, so too shall Irreligiosophy rise again. [I checked the calendar and today is Good Friday and Sunday is Easter.]

  26. Herb (12th Apostile/Listener) says:

    Okay, I had more than one beer. Pardon the poor grammar.

  27. Bill maher is a fucking crank.
    If you guys quit the show I’m coming up there to do something.
    Something irritating.
    Something… Wet.

    So how bout them auditions?

  28. Okay Leighton. I am sorry I brought up LARPing. Still, not as sorry as you are that you brought it up!
    Chuck were you able to view that Futurama clip?

  29. While we ponder whether or not Chuck and Leighton are going to continue the podcasts, I nominate Leighton to be One Mighty and Strong. Joseph Smith was right once, there will be someone who speaks eternal words and shits truth.

  30. @Eric: Watched it. Futurama rules.

    “I don’t have any g*d d@mn mother f#cking anger issues.”

  31. somewhere in greece says:

    Why is everyone getting their panties in a twist over Chuck and Leighton quitting? We can always pressgang Michael and Chris. They are funny, Michael has been on a mission so more story material there AND they are more cost-effective when it comes to Thai children

  32. Chuck
    what caught my attention was the line from Hermes
    “I got the key, but not the authority” He sounds like Leighton’s brother, though I’m not sure which one.
    Futurama is back on comedy central in case you haven’t heard.

  33. Angry Budgie says:

    Speaking of Thai children has Pahkdi become the first martyr of Irreligiosophy? Or have other Thai children gone before him?

    Does he yet qualify for sainthood? Because then we can have feast days!

  34. Ooooh, the feast of Pakhdi! Pad Thai, a salted can of tuna and “toilet water”(yeah, I’m not doing that but I will simulate it by drinking vodka–like jesus blood is wine).

  35. Eric:

    That is the exact line Leighton’s brother Troy gave to me a few years back when I asked him if he could resurrect the dead with his priesthood: “I have the keys, but not the authority.”

    Awesome. I can’t believe I missed that.

  36. Angry Budgie says:

    We could create a special Toilet Water cocktail just for Pahkdi’s feast day. Vodka, sprite, and some form of coconut flavoring or mixer.

  37. Budgie, that already exists…it’s called “ocean water”. Maybe if we use Mt. Dew it would be toilet water (and extreme).

  38. Dietrich says:

    Or we could just drink vodka.

  39. Angry Budgie says:

    I thought Ocean water used blue raspberry flavoring!

    Hopefully they’ll have some more unforseen deaths and we can have some more feastday to celebrate.

  40. I think I may vomit. I just watched an hour of how awesome Mormonism is. Seriously, I thought there was going to be actual history, but it was just different testimonies about how cool it is to be Mormon. I get enough of that kind of shit from the MS fascist… Oop. I mean MS Baptist.

    P.S. Pur-pur-pur-please don’t quit Irreligiosophy… I will cry. Berry, berry much. 🙁

  41. On DirecTV last night on their new DOC channel there was an hour and a half about Jack Chick and his art work. I will tape and watch again