[irrelig]Okay, so there are three more chapters in Kent Hovind’s “dissertation,” right? Well, in this episode we take on chapters two and three: “The Religion of Evolution” and “The Effects of Evolution.” Loads of intellectual discourse and corn-pone stories straight from the horse’s ass.

Also, a special Skunk Dick segment that shines a spotlight on you, our beloved fans.

51 Responses to “96: Hovind’s Dissertation, Take Two”

  1. And then Chuck mixed Mims’s ass hairs into the gloopy glowing Wiccan concoction as he stirred the cauldron and cackled, “Soon, with this spell I bought on eBay, Leighton, your penis shall eclipse the very–”

    Oh, look, a new podcast.

  2. Hey dicks, there is a religion that worships chance: Discordianism. All hail Eris, etc. They have a calendar and everything.


  3. Heresy! All true followers of the goddess know that those blindly devoted to order labor under the aneristic illusion, while those blindly devoted to disorder (or chance) labor under the eristic illusion. While it is true that too many suffer the consequences of the curse of Greyface, mere disorder or chance is also a false path.
    True Discordians recognize the primacy of creativity over both disorder and order. At some point we really do need to get an inquisition together to sort out these heretics. Problem is we have far too many popes.

  4. Queen of Hearts says:

    You Guys are assholes! But I love you any way, and you made me laugh.

    Here is my King of Hearts


  5. What a horrible podcast. I am completely disgusted by this. How could they not get to Leighton’s material? Chuck and Leighton are horrible people and the world would be better off if they died in a fire.

  6. The podcast is so late that not even Itunes thought that it would be posted!

  7. Discord.agent says:

    Actually we worship chaos (discord), or we don’t. It really doesn’t matter, but is of the highest degree of importance.

  8. Immerge is a real word. It means about the same as immerse. Don’t assume a word is wrong because you haven’t heard it before.

    You owe Hovind an apology on this one.

  9. Herb (12th Apostle) says:

    Boy, this snarky fluff you guys produce as filler material is getting old fast. This podcast was a retred of material from KHD v1.0. The only saving grace was the continuing Inchul storyline. (BTW were those sound clips from Slumdog Millionaire.)

    Stop listening to the addicts. Take a week off, hit the books and give us something with a little more meat on the bones. How about a podcast on ancient Greek theology, its origins and influences on modern religions? When and how did it get branded as a mythology? That seems like familiar fodder that could fill up several podcasts.

  10. Clearly what this podcast was missing was more fart noises. Get ready to ride the award circuit now, boys!

  11. Funniest sound effect since Jack Benny’s car.

  12. Vladimar Lenin says:


  13. SquireHeavenPond says:

    Where’s the next podcast? It’s late.
    I’m voting for the imaginary friends show.

  14. Cancer Larry says:

    Hey guys just wanted to say thanks for mentioning The Imaginary Friend Show. Your show is pretty ok but now that I have discovered a far superior podcast I now have no reason to listen to yours 🙂 Maybe The Imaginary Friend can release a show on time 🙂

    Keep up the mediocre work!

  15. Ironic Name says:

    Odd that Cunt Hovind is so concerned about *his* tax money going to teach evolution considering that he doesn’t pay any. I think the fart noises have more scientific reasoning then he ever will.

  16. Matthew (Apostle of Christ? Gospel writer? You decide.) says:

    “Chapter Four next week”??? WTF? What a cliffhanger. I’m almost tempted to look it up and read it myself, but as someone credits Leighton, “I’m just too goddamn lazy.” (KJV – get book title!)

    Looks like I’ll be jerking off to Darwin for another week. Thanks a lot, assholes.

  17. Just a small note. Darwin never read Marx. Marx sent him a copy of Capital, but he never go to it. It was on his “to be read” pile when he died.

  18. Suggestion for the show: feed a different holy book to your new pet pitbull every week. Oh, and name the pitbull Ardie. Don’t let anyone hang and burn Ardie though.

  19. Dr. Scott, D.Irr says:

    Its obvious that some people here definitely have issues… you two have worked them up into a very murderouos rage. Good Job, dickheads!

  20. Chuck , Lieghton ; you guys are saints . Reading Kunt Halvewits’s entire colection of sermons as edited by miss Van Gundy . If Lieghton ever losses a leg in a bike crash , and never has sex again , he can always sell bits of his one true leg and make a fortune . I’ld buy a slab and stick some wires in it, plug it in and start a new sacrament .

  21. AngryBudgie says:

    I would have saved so much time in college with my references if I had just used Hovind’s method!

    I wish I had my very own Kim van Gundy!

    …….to bad I wend to a subpar state university that expects over complicated stuff like Chicago Style and APA. Clearly Patriot Bible University holds its students to the highest standards. CLEARLY!

  22. Looking forward to Lieghton’s analysis of chapter 4. Please fix your skunk dick computer. Your alternative method of passing the choices through the digestive system of a canine is a bit silly. Also, reading the results can’t be very much fun. Despite that, Irrelgiosophy is still my favourite podcast.

  23. Moggie Magfeline says:

    This episode made me glad and made me sad. It made me glad because it was hilarious in a thousand of ways. It made me sad because I am fuming that this clown can submit this absolute crap and get a doctorate. Are you shitting me? And as for KVJ/KVG, I expected more from the president of the illiterate editors assosiashun.

  24. Dr. Scott, D.Irr says:

    Hmmm… If the Holy Spirit is a Ghost, and ghosts are into anal rape.. that explains how Mary could be a ‘virgin’, and how her hymen was intact… God, as the Holy Ghost, entered her through the back door, and Jesus was an ass baby. It’s a MIRACLE!

  25. Moggie Magfeline says:

    Oh, and PLEASE send Kent a D.Irr. He has earned it.

  26. Discord.agent says:

    How dare you slander a D. Irr. by suggesting Kent Hovind has earned one.

  27. How did you guys get a hold of Hovind’s dissertation? And how do you stand reading it from cover to cover without stabbing yourselves? So disturbing that this is a real person. Does he actually have followers? I’m so glad this is my only exposure to him.

  28. agentsarahjane says:

    College is fricking hard. After sweating a few semesters I actually dropped out due to stress. This guy’s stupidity mixed with the gall of his paper made me angry at how I have student loans and no degree while he has a doctorate. At least I can say I learned more than he did

  29. No, he has a “doctorate.” It’s very important that you make the distinction, or your head might explode.

  30. I’m getting sick of all the sexism on this show. A skunk dick? Really? And how does one get a skunk dick anyway? From a skunk twat. I know I’ve had some that needed a scrub brush taken to them, so why not go straight to the source and call them the skunk twats. If it weren’t for skunk twats there wouldn’t be a such thing as a skunk dick.

  31. Thanks guys. I feel smarter already. Hovind will do that for you.

  32. “I’m getting sick of all the sexism on this show. A skunk dick? Really? And how does one get a skunk dick anyway? From a skunk twat.”

    O really? Leighton is honorary skunk dick of the new millennium and his dick hasn’t seen the inside of a twat for a decade. And that was a goat.

  33. “O really? Leighton is honorary skunk dick of the new millennium and his dick hasn’t seen the inside of a twat for a decade. And that was a goat.”

    Nice try skunk twat.

  34. agentsarahjane says:

    @ Dietrich: heh heh heh maybe if I imagine he could be a doctor like Dr Johnny Fever or Doctor J, or a captain like Captain Crunch and the Captain and Tenille my brain won’t smolder like a fourth of July snake.

  35. A listener says:

    first comment on this site, but the hovind dissertation had me laughing out loud. The Kind has no clothes!

  36. (was) somewhere in greece says:

    I laughed out loud at the dissertation as well, but I wish you would at least cut down on the child labour and fart jokes. It has been a while since I heard an episode I felt able to recommend to my friends and family.

  37. Discord.agent says:

    I am glad to have a show that I listen to that is not recommendable to friends and family. Mostly because the majority of friends and family are Jesus groupies. Maybe for the next show you can add a booger joke or two, but that might be too sophisticated for this type of show.

  38. BTW “Kind” is an old word for cattle. Maybe the cows are naked? Hovind is on to something!

  39. The actual meat of the podcast was, as always, hilarious, but the first fifteen minutes were almost unbearable. Hearing you two talk constantly about your fans and refer to inside jokes from your forums is the auditory equivalent of watching you jack off to pictures of yourselves. I miss the good old days, when you had the humility to realize that you only have five listeners at a time, tops. One more shout-out to some undersexed Internet nerd drooling over Leighton’s bike shorts, and I swear I will drive to Utah, hunt you down, and make Chinese dumplings out of your balls.

  40. “I laughed out loud at the dissertation as well, but I wish you would at least cut down on the child labour and fart jokes. It has been a while since I heard an episode I felt able to recommend to my friends and family.”

    That ship? Sailed.

  41. Von Krieger says:

    Chirst, you guys. Don’t you know anything? Never, never, EVER leave a hungry Asian around a dog! You should know this by now! Poor Mr. Smiles is now in some fat Korean kid’s belly, and it’s all your fault.

  42. When is the next podcast coming out! WAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  43. (was) somewhere in greece says:

    @Moewicus: Fair enough, but said ship doesn’t have to circumnavigate the planet

  44. Where is my next podcast? WAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  45. Discord.agent says:

    My god damned podcast is late again! Thirdly, why hasn’t Mr. Smiles replaced those faggot penguins and the sea lion version of David Duchovny as irreligiosophy mascots?!?

  46. Moggie Magfeline says:

    It’s Chooseday – the day you choose whether this episode is going to be late again or not.

  47. I’m only partway into the podcast but I wanted to note a few things.

    1 – You neglected the option that “We hate our fans so much, we’re going to subject them to more Hovind so they have to suffer too”. I tend to believe that one.

    B – I briefly wondered if the fart sounds were going to make up the entirety of the rest of the podcast. That would have been a hilarious fuck you AND commentary on the content of Hovind’s writing.


  48. Hey! I’m not undersexed and my interest in Leighton’s proclivities are purely academic. And I never mentioned any bike shorts. I did however gad about and forget how much I hate my job for several minutes when Chuck laughed at my really not that funny joke. So there’s one person who benefited anyway.

  49. sixstringfrenzy says:

    Please, for the love of humanity, no more of the dissertation. Every new bit of info on this moron makes me wonder how you guys can stomach reading that crap.