2.5: Mere Christianity IV: A New Hope

Our four episode trek into the deep, dark recesses of the apologetic mind is finished. In this episode Chuck gets castigated for not allowing Matt to talk (suck it, Matt!), Chuck and Matt have a little penis talk, we converse about the intricacies of eating cocaine out of a brother’s butt, and then we spend the remaining forty-two seconds discussing CS Lewis.

Be warned! It is not for the faint of heart.

84 Responses to “2.5: Mere Christianity IV: A New Hope”

  1. I put this on at work while I delved into work and had it playing for 10 minutes before I realized I was listening to a long and drawn out dick joke. I was working and realized “wait… they are still going one with this joke?”. Well played sirs… well played.

  2. Wow, I’m 10 minutes into the penis dialog and it is extremely offensive. I’m beginning to see Tyler’s point tha… nis, penis, penis, PENIS, penis, PeNiS, peeennnisss, PENIS!


  3. I am disappointed about the looping, though. That was lazy. If you’re going to do, do it right…. PENIS!!!

  4. I figured no one could bear more than two or three minutes of penises and would never listen to the entire 20 minutes. I am happy to hear that I was wrong.

  5. At least two of the What Is Truth episodes should have been nothing more than a single dick joke drawn out to saga length

  6. Best episode ever! I was staring to think you were getting soft. Like tyler….

  7. Perhaps the term you’re looking for is “flaccid”?

  8. Moewicus says:


  9. Moewicus says:

    This article reminds me of this episode in that it is exactly like this episode:


  10. I was listening to this episode on my iPod and fell asleep. Thanks to your 20 minute penile implant, I woke up gay. That’s cool and all, but my wife is kind of steamed. Anyway, fuck her. Can’t wait for the episode on abiopenisis.

  11. Meh. Not enough penis.

  12. This show sucked. The penis segment was too short and Matt Wakefield participated too much.

  13. Citizen Wolf says:

    I’m deaf in one ear and when I play this on an MP3 player all I can hear is chuck interspersed with chunks of silence. When I play it on the computer Matt’s there. What way have you set up the audio?

    Tsk, I expect better from a free podcast! Disgraceful.

  14. Chuck interspersed with chunks of silence was the podcast. How did Matt sneak in there?

  15. Herb (Apostle 2.0) says:

    Rename Skunk Dick, Smegma Wad of the Week.

  16. Herb’s Smegma Wad of the Week does have a nice ring to it.

  17. Please please please do a Mormon Fundamentalism episode soon. For real.

  18. Moewicus says:

    I just noticed the Star Wars reference. God damnit, Chuck. God damnit.

    To restore my Giant Fucking Nerd cred, I would like to point out that when Kirk Hastings made that “the chance of this not happening is 10^50” statistics gaffe in “What Is Truth?”, he was alluding to an episode of Star Trek: The Original Series where Captain Kirk is put on trial and Spock testifies on his behalf.

    This is the scene, I think:


  19. Goddamn buckafuds, you didn’t talk enough about PUD!!! there might still be a few humorless farthole-huffers that made it to the end of the kryptonite man-slime-dork-minefield & convinced themselves that they got it. this is called a ‘closet chode-goblin’, & can only be dealt with by dealing out a massive overdose (like maybe a WHOLE EPISODE where you guys share the revelation of this booty-full gift of “Speaking !n Dongs”, but this 20 min or so is a good start don’t get me wrong) of butthurt, that hurts their butts, & makes em squawk untill they either fuck off or the turd finally falls outta their pussies. but i guess if they all left there would be less reason to hurl bulldada recklessly, & more importantly, it would be more effort to keep tabs on these walking pinkboy shart attacks… to both chuck & matt- $tay g0lden, boner bean

  20. Discord.agent says:

    20 minutes of penis, but no masturbation references?!? What the fuck?

  21. “he was alluding to an episode of Star Trek: The Original Series”

    Oh man, you’re right. “If one were to drop a hammer on a planet with positive gravity …”

    All that’s missing, in what I’m sure is just a huge coincidence, is the one detail Kirk got wrong: the 10^50 reference.

  22. Citizen Wolf says:

    Seriously though, what’s the story with the audio?

  23. I forgot to mix the two channels together — the last step in the editing process. It’s been fixed now, so if you redownload the episode it should sound right.

  24. Moewicus says:

    I think it’s possible that “What is Truth?” is just really elaborate Star Trek fanfiction.

    Consider, for instance, that in Star Trek: The Next Generation episode “The Chase”, the crew of the Enterprise races against Klingons, Cardassians, and Romulans to unlock a secret hidden in the genetic codes of multiple humanoid species, only to find a message indicating that all of the humanoid species in the galaxy were seeded by an even more ancient humanoid race in the distant past.

    Star Trek literally endorses intelligent design! Kind of.

    This also explains the title of Kirk’s next book: “Why God Needs a Starship”.

  25. Man, I hate boy shows like Star Trek. It’s just Star Wars and water.

  26. Citizen Wolf says:

    My mother and aunt were visiting for the day, and at one point I decided to play the podcast on the computer as a comparison to check if it was playing ok on that, and of course they walk in to Chuck going “penis, penis, penis” at full volume.

    If there were any crickets around here then they’d have been audible at that moment. Sheesh.

    Anyhow, thanks for sorting out the sound. Looking forward to hearing the podcast. Well… the non-penis bit, lol.

  27. Sorry to interrupt the penis talk but am I the only one who picked up on this?

    “Which one is Lucy because she’s the sexy one?” – Matt

    Lucy is the 8 year old one.

  28. Gnardude says:

    I didn’t realize you guys are such fans of piano players.

  29. somewhere in greece says:

    the penis conversation was looped

  30. Approaching Leighton-like levels of assholishness there, Chuck.

  31. Herb (Apostle 2.0) says:

    Chuck and Matt – Your take down on The History Channel’s “The Bible” is hereby requested. Satan is portrayed as a dark-skinned Obama clone and Jesus as a chiseled European beau-hunk. Plus the actor who portrays Satan just happens to be the only Muslim in the cast. Check out the cast listing on IMBD. WTF!?

  32. This episode inspired me to formulate a new argument for the existence of God. It goes like this:

    Every penis and penis penis has a penis.
    A penis penis cannot penis .
    A penis penis cannot be of penis penis .
    Therefore, a penis penis (or penis that is penis penis penis) must penis.

    still working out the penis

  33. Wes, I think your first penis is missing a penis.

  34. Couldn’t get more than a few minutes into the podcast. I have to stop and masturbate.

  35. Interview leighton for his views on Matt. Also Matt needs to be more angry. His high pitched giggling and cheery voice really annoys me. Maybe get Sean back on too. Easily the best retard takedown.

  36. This podcast has completely crashed and burned.

    Goodbye, it was fun while it lasted.

    — A former fan.

  37. This penis has completely crashed and burned.
    Goodbye, it was fun while it lasted.
    – A former penis.

  38. My penis’s feelings are hurt.

  39. Moewicus says:


    Also, where’s mah peencast?

    It fills me with happenis.

  40. New unofficial schedule is 1st and 15th. I reserve the right to change that schedule at any moment and without notice, or deny its existence at any time and for any reason.

  41. The first 20 minutes of this podcast were the most thorough & accurate summary of the writings of C.S. Lewis I’ve ever heard. Thanks Chuck & Matt.

  42. You know, I was listening to some old Irreligiosophy episodes today at work. I listened to the first podcast awards episode and both religious podcast takedown episodes. It has to be said, Chuck and Leighton banter is just so fucking entertaining and funny as hell. Again, I was wiping away tears of laughter in my cubicle.

    Don’t get me wrong, I like Matt. It’s not that, and I’m sure that a Leighton Allred podcast would have a huge Chuck Morrison hole in it. Look, what I’m saying is that you could take the Oreo biscuit on its own and it would be OK and you could have the filling on its own and enjoy it but put the two together and you’ve got something I’m told is awesome because I don’t eat that shit.

    But you do get the point I’m making, right? Sometimes two good things together make something awesome, like peanut butter and jelly, Burt and Ernie, Donny and Marie, Captain and Tennille, Ike and Tina… OK scratch everything but the PB&J. Chuck, can you not patch things up with Leighton and produce some pure podcast Gold again, please?

    At the very least, can you get Matt to call you Charlie?

    (I know, I’m bitching about something I get for free and making suggestions about your personal life… What kind of asshole am I?)

  43. Herb (Apostle 2.0) says:

    Jeebus! Surely, I’m not the only one who cringes every time someone pines for bringing Leighton back. Try listening to the Hindu podcast or some of the latter ones when it is clear Leighton had checked out.

    Here is what really bothers me: I think of how much Chuck enjoyed Halloween–enough so that he was wiling to risk his money to build a Haunt with his friend. And then I think about how that friend failed to share his burden of risk and left it all on Chuck’s shoulders (you know, the one with a wife and kids of his own to support). And I wonder what last Halloween was like for Chuck and the next one to come, and if that whole time of year has been tainted by Leightons behavior. And I think how sucky that must feel for Chuck and to have to revisit that every time someone gets all nostalgic and shit for Leighton.

    I’m sure Chuck (let alone Matt) appreciates the constant reminders.

    I look forward to more of Matt and encourage him to put his background in mythology to more use during the podcast. I’m confident he’s finding his voice and the podcast will be the better for it.

    Peace out, bitches!

  44. Penis.

    On a different note, I just want to say I’ve enjoyed Matt’s presence on the show from his very first appearance, and continue to do so. He’s awesome. I haven’t enjoyed these CS Lewis episodes as much as other irreligiosophy episodes, I think primarily because the topic shifts make the episodes harder to really hook into, but that’s not something I expect is permanent. (Perhaps a separate Penis Banter podcast could be created? You know I’m always down for that.)

    By Grabthar’s Hammer, by the whiskers of Oakenshield, I shall penis!

  45. Nearly all comments previous to this one are rife with logical phalluses.

  46. Penis be Upon Us.

    I think the je ne sais quoi we’re missing in this Second Cumming isn’t actually Leighton, but the antagonisation and combativity that we had back in the Golden Age.

    The pinacle of this, I’m sure ya’ll agree, was the E4F debates. Man, those are a couple of the best podcast episodes I’ve ever heard, specially the analysis afterwards. Although Irreligiosophy is still my favorite podcast, I still miss that kind of confrontation.

    Now, I’m sure it depended on many factors that may not happen again (where would one find idiots so sure of their beliefs and willing to embarrass themselves like that, for instance?), but I think Irreligiosophy needs another debate like that, or something that has the same feeling of “Yeah! Tell them how it is, Chuck!”.

  47. Rikki, thank you for so firmly inserting such sense into the enveloping discourse. You’re an upstanding member of this community.

  48. Is that a maybe?