78: Missionary Experiences 2

Irreligiosophy The second part of the interview strikes a more personal note. Find out more about the culture shock missionaries experience, how the LDS Church treats those who gave up two years of their life to serve it, and the exit interview experience. Once again, Mike comes to the rescue by editing our massive conversation down into a slightly less massive podcast. Thanks, Mike!

No Skunk Dicks this week but we did stick in something very special for the fans, right around the middle of the podcast.

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19 Responses to “78: Missionary Experiences 2”

  1. Thanks Mike your a legend!

  2. so……about that rap…

  3. Please please please post the documents!

  4. Mike the Ex-Mormon Podcast Editor August 31, 2010 at 11:48 am

    It was my pleasure to edit the Episodes. (I got to hear all of the racist jokes uncensored, as Thor intended)
    It was a lot of work, but the accomodations were nice. I was given a half a beet a day, a few ounces of stagnant pond water, and several hours between beatings to put the show together.
    Thank you all for listening and for your support. I have been editing and reliving this stuff for the past two weeks straight and it feels really good to be done. I’ll try and get the secret documents to chuck soon.

    Well, back to drinking it all away

  5. I REALLY wanted you to post the documents, at least the ones discussed…

  6. MO TAB!!! God damnit!! another intro like that and i may eat a bullet.

  7. Great episode… anyone who whines about THESE guests is a jackass

  8. I am curious about these missionaries…It is obvious that they do not subscribe to the doctrine anymore, but I would like to know if they have just gone inactive, or did they take the steps that I did to have my name removed?

    Guys, if you read this, I would love to know!

  9. Loved this episode! My little true blue bro just turned in his “papers”. I wish I could get him to listen to this!

  10. This one brought back horrifying flashbacks of my own mission. It was the most horrible experience of my life…18 months of deep depression and feeling like I was going to hell forever. I can say that I got to learn another language and this experience was a huge catalyst for even getting me to ponder leaving the church. Grrr.

    Great episode. Can’t say I was ever shot at, but I did get many different kinds of fruits thrown at me!

  11. Amen, Kaylana! Likewise, this brings back memories. I used to think that going on a mission was the most important thing I could ever do, that my life wouldn’t come out right if I didn’t, and so I did, and now I realize that it was my mission more than anything else that fucked me up in the head. The church basically teaches that white is black and empty is full, and that’s infinitely magnified on the mission, since ‘church’ is your mindset all the time. Very confusing. Very depressing. It helps to point out and laugh at all the absurd and awful things that happen on a mission. It’s no surprise to me that Mike’s ‘golden investigator’ committed suicide. Buying into this shit makes you hate yourself on the inside but act happy on the outside. If you don’t act happy enough, you lose in many socially relevant ways. What kind of life is that? I’d rather be dead, too. If I hadn’t gone atheist, I probably would be by now.

    To me, you guys are gods. Keep it up! And fuck Glenn Beck! Right up the ass!

  12. Great Podcast guys

    I recently saw a shorter version of this ad that interrupted my surfing of cnn’s website. I was in shock when this guy said “There’s nothing in the scripture that says I can’t love motorcycles” That is the ultimate rationalization of religion’s conflict with modern society considering damn well this guy knows they weren’t invented in Smiths time! The next ad should have a Meth Addict Mormon saying Moronai didn’t mention it in the scriptures so its OK too!

  13. Chris (from the podcast) September 3, 2010 at 10:20 am

    Glad everyone liked the podcast!

    @Rick – I never got my name removed or anything. I just don’t give a shit. My brother went through the whole thing, though.

  14. You guys should look in to doing a podcast on evangelical christianity.

  15. I couldn’t help but notice a parallel with Islamic terrorism: These young Mormon men are led to believe that completing their mission will lead to the aquisition of a beautiful wife. Not unlike Islamic suicide bombers completing their duties to get their seventy-two virgins. What better way to gain control over horny young men then to deny them the right to sex, then give them false promises of it once they submit to your rules?

  16. My first wife turned out to be a lesbian… I wonder what kind of missionary that makes me?

  17. (was) somewhere in greece September 7, 2010 at 10:56 pm

    I don’t think they promised a beautiful wife that is also sexually attracted to men, just a beautiful one.

  18. Loved these two episodes.
    Just for your amusement: My Two Mormon Missionary Experiences
    Experience 1: I was born in VT, not far from the birthplace of Joseph Smith, and was still in that area when I reached the age for the junior prom. I had two dates (one male, one female, both bad Catholics, you may make your lewd comment now Leighton). We got together with a group of friends who also eschewed the more ostentatious pre-prom rituals such as fancy dinners and limo rides. My male date and a Mormon friend of ours decided to put those culinary classes they’d been taking at the vocational school to good use and cooked dinner for my female date, myself, Mormon friend’s date (female, I know Leighton wants to know) and some other friends who were going to the prom stag. This dinner occurred at the house of the Mormon friend and the four missionaries staying there at the time dressed up as our waiters and served all the dinner courses before we piled into Mormon friend’s car and went to the prom. All I remember about them was that and there was a sign on their door about no females entering, although I believe the only female living there at the time was Mormon Mom.

    Experience 2: After I moved to Florida I took up the habit of riding my bike on a local walking path around a lake. There is a temple in town and there are usually a pair of missionaries to be seen biking around the area. They must get really frustrated around here because a.) everybody else is African American and b.) a Bible-thumping Baptist or worse Apostolic or some other form of Pentecostal. Anyway one day the two missionaries were sitting on a bench by the bike path and tried to stop me as I rode by at a fairly high speed. This is not the smartest thing for them to do. I personally have been known to pack heat, or pepper spray at the very least, and I am not too open to strange men approaching me closely when I am exercising or any other time for that matter. I would guess that this is true for most of the women in this area, except for maybe the ones who win arm wrestling matches against their cousin Bubba, who is also their brother. Anyway, if said missionaries continue said behavior they are just asking for an ass-kicking or worse. Please keep in mind that it has been legal to shoot people in the street in Florida in self-defense since like 2004.

  19. These 2 parters are fantastic. I had to listen again, cause I couldn’t believe how bad being a missionary is and cause some of it is hilarious. “Take some crackers and 7up and you’ll be fine”.

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